I've MOVED! :)

Just a quick note all I have finally taken the plunge and bought my domain. You can now find me at www.strandedintheburbs.com

Come by and see me, I've missed you guys.

Karina
:)

Come Party #MILFF Style

Happy Friday everyone! 

So if you haven't heard on Twitter, I am part of a #MILFF  party. Now before you get all dirty thinking, #MILFF is a hastag created by Holly Pavlika from Big Fuel (@HollyPavlika) who lives in NYC.  #MILFF stands for #MomsILikeToFollowFriday.  We all tell each other who the other cool moms are on twitter and it has really been great for me to meet all these moms on Twitter I never would have if it hadn't been for #MILFF


Holly has  reached 5,000 followers (which is insane in the twitterverse) and we are having a party to celebrate on Friday September 9th at 9pm EST. 9/9 at 9pm get it? 


Here are some of the prizes you can win.;

• 
  20 #MILFF T-SHIRTS
  ($20 VALUE)
• 
  4 "FRESHALICIOUS" COOK BOOKS
  BY STACEY FOKAS
  ($29.95CDN VALUE)

• 

  4 KATHY BUCKWORTH BOOKS
  "The BlackBerry Diaries: Adventures in Modern Motherhood","Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children & Chardonnay","Journey to the Darkside: Supermom goes home","The Secret life of Supermom"($20 VALUE EACH)
• 
  VITAMIN BLAST - 2 CASES OF WATER
  FOR US ONLY
  ($19.95 VALUE)
• 
  4 MINI SQUISHABLES - PUSH TOYS
  ($19 VALUE)
• 
  VOLI VODKA - PRIZE PACK
  TOTE BAG, SHAKER, BOTTLE OF VODKA, BEACH TOWEL
  ($50 VALUE)
• 
  LIFE SCIENCE -
  1 PRIZE PACK OF IRONKIDS ($50 VALUE) AND
  1 PRIZE PACK OF ADULT ESSENTIALS ($50)
• 
  THE CHILDREN'S PLACE -
  5 50.00 GIFT CARDS WITH
  A 25% OFF VIP COUPON
• 
  SoConnected -$25 STARBUCKS GIFT CERTIFICATE
• CLIPPO -
  $50 CLIPPO GIFT CERTIFICATE
• 
  1 BOTTLE (VALUE $20)
  Free Dora The Explorer growthchart for "liking" theBaby Ddrops Facebook page.

And because we all love our friends, you can also nominate your favourite MILFF in the #MILFF Contest! Use #MILFFqueen as the hashtag and a short (this is twitter after all!) reason why you are nominating them. The #MILFFqueen will win a $50 American Express Gift Card courtesy of Mom-entum & Big Fuel. 

So make sure to tire out the kidlets and have them in bed by 9pm EST (sorry west coasters) and join some #MILFF's to part-ay! :) 

Wordless Wednesday - This is what you get when you let a 2 year old pick out his own pajamas.

Five Blogs I like to Follow Friday - #2

Happy Friday all!


In an effort to ramp up my writing, I am forcing myself to write something no matter how small every day.  I may not finish a post, but I will start one at least. (small steps, right?) 


As you may or may not know, I bloody love reading other blogs. In fact, I think it can qualify as an addiction. I read tons and since this is the reason why I don't write more, I figured let's use this productively and write about the blogs I love to read. 


The first five blogs I love to love are here Since there are so many more blogs out there but I want you to pace yourself, here are the next 5 that I love. 

• The Journey Continues.......  Heather Hamilton is a mother of 3, who has recently lost one of her twins Zack.  Her story and posts make me cry and leave me in awe of how strong she is and how she has turned this event which has changed her life and her family's forever into something good, something positive and something that will make a difference. The charity she has set up on Zack's name Zack's Dream Room  is raising money to make York Central Hospital a better place for kids and their families.  Warning, do not read this blog if you sit in an open concept area at work, trust me and you will thank me later. 

• Nic Nac Maniac Nerina has a gorgeous blog. It is like she has taken every romantic, frilly decorating idea I have ever had and put it in one place.  Seriously, love it. She is so generous with her praise and support for other bloggers. You will get addicted, trust me. 

• Beyond Post Partum As someone who suffered from PPD, I really wish I had found this blog in 2009.  Amber is honest, supportive, and overall rational in the often irrational world of post-partum moms. If you ever meet a new mom, you must send her this blog. She reminds us to be kind to each other and most of all to ourselves and who doesn't need to be reminded of that once in a while, right? 

• Listen to Lena Lena is gorgeous, funny and has some serious kick-a** eyebrows (I mean this in a good way :P ) As a new mom, I loved listening to her advice and reviews  just in case I decided to get out of my sweatpants and look fit for public viewing. She breaks it down and even makes it seem easy for someone like me. Plus, she has THE best giveaways and who doesn't like free stuff? 

• Lainey Gossip Ah Lainey, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I have been reading her celebrity gossip blog since the day it was a subscribe-only newsletter and I have been hooked ever since. When I read her blog I feel like I know her (which is the greatest compliment I can give to a writer), she has the best scoop, obsesses about fantasy celebrity pairings as much as I do, and refuses to report on "sad smut" i.e kicking someone when they are truly down à la Amy Winehouse.  She uncovers the "business" behind Hollywood and makes you see just how manufactured everything is in that town.   

So there you have it, my next 5 blogs. What do you think? Do you hate any of these? Let me know and if you have any you would like to recommend, feel free to let me know. I am always looking to feed my addiction. :P


Have a great weekend, everyone! 

Being Connected

So the past year has been pretty huge for me.  In 10 months I have gone from a corporate drone who loathed going into work every day to a WAHM who gets up every day energized and loving my new life which is AWE-SOME!

I have been so lucky and so blessed to meet great friends like @InfoSara, Anne Green, Optimom , Holly Pavlika and many others who I don't have the space to name through Twitter. I first started dabbling in Twitter and Social Media because as a media person,, it was my job to stay on top of what was going on and nothing had more going on than Social Media.

I'll be the first to admit that I didn't get Twitter in the beginning. (and am willing to admit that the person I followed was Kim Kardashian..I know, I know) So I followed celebrities but for the most part, none followed me back (except for Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt but we'll save that story for another day) 


Thankfully I quickly got bored of them all, and searched for people while semi-like me were smarter, stronger, & that I learned so much from.  Twitter is a place where people are different and you can always find someone like you or at least will say something nice when you`re having a bad day. Trust me, ask for some good vibes on a bad day and see the response you get.

Last fall, when I quit my job 2 conferences were happening; Blissdom Canada & She`s Connected At the time I was insanely jealous as I read the tweets of women supporting & learning from each other but also learning how to support their dreams and families with their passion.  This was one of the most important things I learned from their conference tweets & blog posts. We all know that following your passion is always amazing but you know what is even more amazing. Getting to fulfill your passion and get paid for it. (Can I get a woohoo!) 


So of course when the Blissdom Canada tix went on sale I snapped one up, which was lucky as they sold our in 90 mins, and on Tuesday was thrilled to discover that I was selected to attend She`s Connected (WOOT WOOT!) I am both thrilled and terrified to meet all these women and have dusted off the treadmill & started researching outfit choices.

I think when it comes to getting paid, we as women tend to play down the value we have and discount it as just a `hobby` or `something to do while the kids nap` but in truth brands WANT & NEED us. More and more, they are competing in an increasingly crowded space for the attention of consumers.  I am happy to report that thanks to the team at She`s Connected and Blissdom we are finally getting the recognition we deserve.

So thanks to both Blissdom Canada & She`s Connected - can`t wait to see you both this fall!

P.S. If you do want to attend She`s Connected click the badge on the right and apply. Newbies, Oldies, big-time bloggers, small-time bloggers, all are welcome. Heck, if they invited me it just proves there is a chance for everybody :P 

Wordless Wednesday - First Ride Ever by Himself

Summertime

Hey everyone!

Sorry it has been so long but believe it or not, I have actually been playing outside this month! Gasp!

You see this is the first summer in the past 12 years that I have actually gotten a tan without going on a true vacation. Sad but true.

We have spent afternoons at the park, breakfasts outside, & dinners by candlelight and it has been Awe-some.  It has been good for me, good for Max and good as our family as a whole. I have been able to worry just a little bit less about what is to come and just enjoy the moment. Isn't that what summer is all about anyways?

I have way more to say on this but a certain someone needs "Night, Night Hop" read to them just one more time......

PS. In all seriousness, I have been severely neglecting the blog but all that will change in August, I promise!  Girl Guides Honour (OK so was never a Girl Guide and that's a whole other post but you know what I mean, right?)

XO

Happy Canada Day Mississauga!

Happy Canada Day everyone!

Today's post is a little bit of a cheat but since it is Canada Day and all I hope you don't mind. I mean I really would rather be BBQing & setting off some fireworks, since I am Canadian and all.....

If you are looking for Mississauga Firework and Canada Day friendly info check out MississaugaKids.com.

It is the best source not only for Canada Day in Mississauga but also all year round. Here you will find info on classes, activities & all things for kids in Mississauga!

So what are you waiting for? Get yourself to www.mississaugakids.com !

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYONE! No go fire up the BBQ or something! :)

Free Chillers at Second Cup - Thursday June 30th!

So anybody who knows me that there is only one thing I like more than Iced Coffee Goodness & that's FREE Iced Coffee Goodness!

Well you are in luck today, because Second Cup is offering free 4 oz samples of their chillers today (June 30th) including 5 limited edition flavours;

White Chocolate Chiller - deliciously decadent white chocolate, smooth, thick and cool. The ultimate patio drink for the white chocolate fan.

White & Dark Chiller - all the white chocolate goodness of the White Chocolate Chiller, Chocolate with Belgian Chocolate curls blended in.

White Mocha Chiller - Sweet and smooth white chocolate for the coffee lover.
This Chiller combines our hand crafted, Rainforest Alliance Certified™
espresso (made fresh with every drink) with our decadent white chocolate.

Raspberry Tea Chiller - Creamy and sweet raspberry flavours with a subtle
floral tea note. Widberry Iced Tea - summer berries and Rainforest
Alliance Certified™ black tea

AND even better, Second Cup has launched Chiller Tuesdays where you can enjoy your fave medium sized Chiller for only $2.95 (plus tax) every Tuesday to August 30, 2011

To find your nearest Second Cup please visit www.secondcup.com

Happy Chilling! :)


Disclaimer: I was not compensated in any way for this post, I just love Iced Coffee and want you to love it too. :P

Choose Your Playground Battles Wisely

Since Spring has finally arrived here, we have gotten in a nice groove of an early dinner and then some time in our neighbourhood park before bath and bedtime. It is good for all three of us, Max burns off some energy and DH and I get some time outside and not staring at our respective computer screens.

Now this is the first Spring that Max is big enough to really enjoy the whole park and he loves it. Going down slides, the swings, playing in the sand you name it he goes crazy for it.

Since the weather is so nice the park is super crowded and that means tons of kids who are still learning the meaning of personal space or waiting their turn. So Max, was playing in the sand and another kid takes his shovel. Luckily Max had more than one so he kind of gave the kid an odd look while I trilled " That's ok Max, you can share." Then the kid takes another one of his toys., and another, and another and so on. I look around for this kid's parents and I see a dad pecking away at his blackberry.

Finally I say firmly to the toy stealer/other child "Now, now we have to share" and take 1/2 the toys (I think I was being uber-nice considering the situation) and give them to Max. Does this kid not start screaming bloody murder which finally makes this dad lift his head from his Blackberry, come over and huffily say "What the F*** (no lie) is going on?"

Ok so first my head exploded by being sworn at by a stranger and then I calmly said "First, easy with the swearing in a park full of kids and second your kid is stealing my kids toys" He looked at me with a strange look and said "Kids need to work things about by themselves"

Umm, these are toddlers they have the conflict resolution skills of a 6 month old puppy. Here is how I think Max's brain works ; "Hey, what's that? It's shiny and moves, I'm getting it, what no I want it, what do you mean no?, WHAAAAAAA"

So in response to this father I simply said "In our house we share, and since you were too busy texting to step in and take control of the situation, if you had a problem with that you should be paying attention to your kid in the park"

So the dad then realized the silence in the park meant everyone was waiting for his response and got all huffy and left, muttering "It's a park, kids should get to do what they want" or something like that. I immediately felt like a helicopter mom and had visions of my going with Max on dates and his first job interviews.

So tell me readers, was what I did a classic helicopter mom move Max is now doomed to live with me forever or did I handle the situation correctly?

Because Every Mother Deserves A Mother's Day

Max's birth story is not something I normally talk about, besides jokingly refrerring to how stunned the nurses were at the sheer size of his head, 99th percentile anyone?

One of the first things I remember after Max was born was how it seemed like an eternity until he took a first breath. My husband assures me it took him less then a few seconds but I just remember the sheer terror I felt that he might not be ok and my husband on the other remembers how scared he was that I might not make it.

For you see, I had the stuff of legend. Max's 99th percentile head combined with a fast labour meant I suffered the mythological 4th degree tear whispered about in prenatal class in hushed tones never to be mentioned again. (FYI, DO NOT google image 4th degree tear. Trust me, you will thank me later)

As the plastic surgeon was hurriedly called and sewed up the remnants of my lady bits. I was blissfully unaware of how dire the situation could have been if not for the amazing Canadian Health Care System. But you see, my mother did, as she was in the room as she watched her 20 year old sister die after giving birth at home to a large baby. She still cries when she talks about it to this day as I give thanks to living ion the 21st century where this doesn't happen right?

WRONG. Did you know that;

• There is one maternal death every 90 seconds today?
• 15% of all pregnancies result in complications during labor and delivery and sometimes are fatal?
• For every woman who dies in childbirth, 20 more suffer from debilitating complications. Which also means that several complications go uncounted and lives are forever impacted?
• We have the knowledge to prevent 90% of all maternal deaths?

While we have the knowledge, what we don't have is the money or do we? For you see, $14.6 billion* was spent on Mother’s Day presents last year in the U.S. alone "celebrating" mother's day.

So how can you help? Every Mother Counts is an organization Christy Turlington started after her own home birth went not as she had hoped or planned. The documentary will air on the Oprah Winfrey Network on May 7^th at 9:30–11 p.m. (ET/PT). The organization works with maternal deaths and supports moms in several countries.

Join the Mom4Moms movement and visit http://www.facebook.com/HaveMomentum to learn how to donate money, time, even your old cell phones can help give a mom access needed health care services that can keep her and her baby alive.

Because brunches just add to our love handles, and flowers just die. Every mother deserves a Mother's day. Let's make sure she is around to celebrate it.

Thank you Princess Di

So this Friday is the Royal "Wedding of the Century" if you have been stuck under a rock and haven't heard.

One of my fondest mom/daughter memories is having my mom wake me up at 5am to watch Lady Diana marry Prince Charles. We snuggled under blankets, drank tea & ate cookies and it was the highlight of my life up to that date most likely due to the fact that she even let me skip school to watch it. It is even more special now that I look back as my mother worked midnights and when she woke up to watch the wedding with me, she hadn't slept a wink yet and had been up for 24 hours straight at that point.

To her credit, my mother stayed up the whole time and answered my million questions, agreed with me that Diana's dress was the most beautiful ever, and that yes I would be really, truly a princess if I married Prince Andrew.

So even though Diana had the fairytale start we all know it didn't end that way.

Anyways Thank You Princess Di, for giving me the best memory and for teaching me that even princesses should look before they leap.

Five Blogs I like to Follow Friday

Today is Friday and if you're Catholic it is actually "Good Friday" although am not sure what is so good about it if you read the Easter story this actually should be a pretty bad day for us according to my nephew but I digress....

In an effort to force myself to actually write more on my blog, I am getting over the whole 'every post has to be deep, important and perfect' and since for many of you you actually have a day off your paying jobs I thought I would borrow from on of my fave things on Twitter which is Follow Friday.

If you want to hear the long story behind Follow Friday click here but for those who aren't familiar with it using the #FollowFriday or #FF hashtag alerts your Twitter followers to other people you think they should follow.

Due to this trend I have found many amazing bloggers over whose blogs I alternately laugh, swoon, & sometimes even cry over. So with no further ado here is my 1st edition of Five Blogs I like to Follow Friday or #BILFF in no particular order as there is no way I could rank these.

• Enjoying The Small Things Kelle Hampton is one of those amazing artists who can truly make you feel like you know her and her family by her posts. Her daughter Nella's birth story is one of those posts you have to read at home alone and when you have an hour or so to fully digest it and have a good sob session.

• Mom Without A Map Sarah is a blogger that I can totally relate to. Our sons are around the same age and I feel like whatever I am going through she seems to write a post at just the right time.

• Fearless Formula Feeder Regardless of where you fall on the Boob/Bottle spectrum, I find her posts refreshing, well researched, and extremely supportive of all mothers. Her Fridays feature a different story every week on each mother's decision/battle/struggle on feeding their baby is powerful and reminds us that behind every mother there's a story to hear.

• How to Survive Life in the Suburbs Love this blog, she can write about issues both big and small and I love that am entertained with both kinds of posts. As a fellow suburban mom, I feel like she gets me and she has great balance between her roles as a mom, wife, and woman. Plus, she is uber-supportive and nice to new bloggers. :)

• Suburban Bliss This blog isn't shy about being honest about motherhood and even the occasional drink on a playdate which is why I love it. She doesn't sugarcoat and stands up for herself.

So there it is, just the first 5 of some of my favourite blogs. What are yours? Stay tuned next Friday for more great blogs.

Happy "Good" Friday everyone!

A-Z About Me

Ok so lately, I have realized that some people are actually reading this blog and seeing as I am a classic self-defeater this has meant that I now have a massive case of writer's block. The mere fact that somebody besides my best friend may read this has paralyzed my normally non-stop mind.

Thankfully, my very first follower http://www.howtosurvivelifeinthesuburbs.com/ posted this on her site and I am shamelessly stealing it. Ok well, am a little ashamed but what the heck, hope she doesn't unfollow me....

A-Z Meme

A. Age: 36. Gah, am closer to 40 than 30...what in the?
B. Bed size: King. Both DH and I need our space.

C. Chore you dislike: Laundry, it never ends

D. Dogs: None now, but did have Duke a beagle terrier mix who was the best dog ever!

E. Essential start to your day: Coffee of course and a snuggle from Max

F. Favorite color: If you asked me, I would say purple but I always wear black
G. Gold or silver: Silver, always

H. Height: 5' 6"
I. Instruments you play(ed): None, unless a one handed version of Jingle Bells counts
J. Job title: Mom/Wife/Daughter/Sister/Friend/Twitter-Lover

K. Kids: One gorgeous, amazing, funny, sweet, drives me crazy son named Max who is 2.

L. Live: In Canada, near the big bad Toronto
M. Mom’s name: Elsa, she hates her name

N. Nicknames: None :P

O. Overnight hospital stays: Only twice once to have my tonsils taken out and the other to push a baby out. Let's just say its not fair you only get ice cream & get put under when two grape size objects are taken out and not when you are expected to push out a 9lbs, 1 oz baby out of your vagina.
P. Pet peeves: Cheapness, Arrogance, & people who cut in line

Q. Quote from a movie: "Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want". - Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You All women should put this on their mirrors

R. Righty or Lefty: Lefty!

S. Siblings: One older brother
T. Time you wake up: Whenever Max does unfotunately
U. Underwear: Always
V. Vegetables you don’t like: None, really but if you asked Max on the other hand.....

W. What makes you run late: Oh everything, Max, Max hiding my phone, Max being hungry, Max being cranky, Max being tired,....notice a theme here?
X. X-rays you’ve had: None, actually.

Y. Yummy food you make: I make an awesome banana bread & seafood linguine

Z. Zoo Animal Favourites: The Lions of course, they are the bad-a**es of the zoo

Ok, so let's open this up since this is all about me, any questions out there? I promise to answer them all.

Happy Thursday everyone!

"Together" is in the Eye of the Beholder

Admit it, when you were pregnant (and even before in my case) you stalked all the mom blogs, pored over every post and obsessed over every close up tiny toes and itsy-bitsy hair bands. Almost all of those moms staring back at you had perfect hair and skinny jeans and waxed poetically about midnight nursing sessions & days spent at coffee shops and baby yoga classes.

To someone struggling with infertility, this life seemed like something I could never achieve so when I was finally pregnant I counted down the days until my baby came and dreamt about a maternity leave (we get 1 year here in Canada, please don't hate me) at Starbucks coffee dates & mommy classes with of course a billion pics documenting the whole thing just like all those blogs I read.

So when I got home from the hospital with a baby that wouldn't nurse and a belly the same size as when I got to the hospital I sort of suspected that this might not go as I had planned. Instead of spending the first two months in newborn adoration I spent it at breastfeeding clinics, weight checks, & in bed sleeping when I could. Even when I emerged on the other side of breastfeeding I was still exhausted, chubby, and in no mood for yoga I still read those same mom blogs obsessively wondering how those moms kept it together when all I seemed to be doing was falling apart.

What I later realized after meeting one of those amazing mommy bloggers that I so admired in real life was that "Together" is in the eye of the beholder. While she is a totally amazing mother she admitted to having help in keeping her house in order with both paid and family help.

She told me that you have to focus on your strengths and get help with your weaknesses. In her case, she is a brilliant mom, writer, photographer, wife, creator, artist & overall human being but she is not a housekeeper and so to keep it all "together" she has help (and doesn't take pics of her bedroom) I was blown away not only by the fact that she wasn't this "perfect" mom I had built up in my head but also with her honesty.

A few weeks after that, I was speaking to another mom who on a play date mentioned to me that she didn't know how I managed to always be so prepared and make so much time for fun with Max. After wiping up the coffee I had spit out at the thought of me being a "together mom" I told her that I in no way had it together and showed her my mis-matched socks, confessed that I hadn't shaved my legs in 2 months and that I was overwhelmed, cranky and overall snippy with everyone and I in no way was anywhere close to amazing.

So to all those moms out there reading blogs and not knowing how some of these moms have it so "together" know that often just out of range of that pic is a messy kitchen, that smiling toddler will 5 minutes dissolve into a whiny cranky mess and we are all just in this "together".

Getting Over Having It All

"Having It All" is the line we are treated to when we are in school.

Of course you can! Want a super-career/big house in the suburbs/gorgeous and equally successful husband/2.5 kids/clean house/fabulous social life sure why not?

I think we get fooled into thinking that if we do not have all these items neatly checked off we are somehow failing and the massive self-help section at my local chain bookstore seems to support this notion.

I've been thinking about this over the past few months as I have felt like one of those who couldn't "hack it" since but instead of focusing on what I gave up I have realized what I have gained such as this moment.

This was taken in the middle of a weekday which never, ever would have happened before. I got to enjoy a moment of just pure Fun for no reason. (Which we all know is the best kind....) and I am finally realizing that this is where I may not have wanted to be but is where I need to be.

I think the myth of "Having it all" never lets us enjoy the present, we are always doing the mental checklist and always finding it and ourselves somehow lacking as a mother/wife/friend/sister/daughter/employee/boss and whatever other hat we wear throughout the day.

I think it is OK to focus on some roles more than others at times. Babies won't be babies forever (although if you would have told me that when Max was three months and I hadn't showered in 5 days I would likely have punched you.) and you won't get certain opportunities ever again so it is OK to let some roles take more importance at times. We are not failures for doing this but rather human. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend if she asked what you thought.

So what do I think, can we have it all?

Yes, I think we can have it all, but not all at the same time. So take what life throws at you and run with it, you may never get the chance again.

Things I wish I knew in High School

The other day, I received a note from an old Facebook friend letting me know that our high school had officially begun planning a reunion for later this year. She asked if I was planning on going and the truth is I am still not sure.

High school for me was some of the best years of my life and it did give me my4 BFF's who I don't know where I would be without them BUT it also gave me some of the worst/hardest life lessons ever. While in hindsight I should be grateful for them at the time, I never thought I would recover.

Some of the things I wish I knew in High School were;

1. Some guys will just say things to get in your pants.

Yes I know this is a lesson we all have to learn but I am still embarrassed of how naive and grown up I thought I was that I could handle all that comes along with listening to those type of high school boys.

2. Not every person you meet will be a true friend

For a girl in high school this is a hard but necessary lesson to learn. Not everyone you meet is looking out for you so choose your friends wisely and don't waste time obsessing over those who aren't

3. In a few years the cool people won't matter

You know the "cool" crowd? Well, for a lot of them, high school is their peak, their time to shine and the decisions they make will change the course of their lives and in some cases even diminish their potential. Don't be one of those people who peak in high school. There is life after high school and it can be fabulous if you let it.

4. Study, Study, Study

Have I made myself clear? There are many things that other people can take away from you like jobs, money, boyfriends, and even husbands but one thing nobody can take away is your education. Now I am not saying you must go to University (but it wouldn't hurt -that's the mother in me talking). Education opens doors that can never be closed. When you get out there in the big bad world, you want to make sure you have as tools as you can.

5. Listen to Yourself

What moves you? We have the great luxury in the time we live in that we chicks have options. Do you want to run your own company? Go for it! Want to travel the world by yourself? Do it! Fulfill your dreams, you only get one life as you so go live it!

6. Kiss Lots of Frogs

You have the rest of your life to be married to one person and trust me when you are old and gray your grandkids will be super impressed that you got around. Enjoy your single life, because trust me it will be the last time you get to do whatever you want whenever you want. Just because you haven`t found `the one`doesn`t mean you can`t enjoy the search. Haven`t you learned anything from Fairy Tales? Sometimes that guy that looks like a frog really is your Prince Charming, warts and all.

7. Yes, you will have to work hard and No there aren`t any shortcuts

If there is one thing that I have learned, is that everything worth having comes from hard work. Don`t go always looking for the easy way out because in the end it won`t make you happy. You won`t understand why but you will always feel a little cheated if you are always looking for the shortcut. It might seem easier, but in the end it is always harder.

8. Gather your tribe.

Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed. Don`t listen to the haters, life is too short to spend it with people who don`t love you. True friends don`t compete with you and want you to be the best you can be. Your tribe can be whoever you want, family, friends, co-workers heck you might even meet a stranger in a coffee shop who will end up being your bestie - just make sure you grab those kindred spirits and keep them with you.

Whew, those are some pretty heavy things to learn in 4 years of High School. This is probably why we don`t learn these things until way later.

So what about you? What do you wish you learned in High School?

Dating Advice from a Mom in the Suburbs

So who should you take dating advice from?

That's right singletons, I am talking to you.

When you have that great date, which ends in a fabulous make out session (or more) and then you agonize about whether he/she will call you again - who is usually on the other side of the brunch table? That's right it's your single best friend/main mo. Why? They usually have the time (and need) for eggs benedict and Caesar's (cause I'm Canadian and that's what we drink when we are so hungover we can't take off our sunglasses in the diner) .

So they listen to you and offer sage advice ("call him/no don't call him/wait 3 days/wait 5 days/call him only for booty calls/I'll crank call him and see if he answers") and what happens to that sizzling date -- It.Never.Happens.Again. Why? It's because you took advice from a single person. Why is that important you say? Well, if they knew the secret to this whole dating thing - then they wouldn't be single.

Do you get medical advice from someone who still hasn't graduated medical school but they've been trying really hard for 10 years, of couse not you go to a graduated, certified with paperwork MD. That's why all you fabulous chicks/guys - the person you need dating advice from is someone who is already married. They knew enough about the dating scene to wade through all the duds and find the one person who thinks that they are awesome enough to want to share a bathroom with them and all of life's other grossness with them.

I have a whole group of smart, successful, beautiful, accomplished and overall uber-fabulous friends who just can't find the right person and since I now live in the burbs with the cutest husband , let's call him DH (Dear Husband) and toddler, Max. I can't make those Sunday Morning brunches (insert le sigh here) I will write about how I made it through the many (and I mean many) duds and found my own "Lobster". (thank you "Friends")

These are the things I would say to my friends when they call if my toddler didn't threaten to throw themselves down the stairs, swallow marbles, and destroy the sofa the minute I turned my head.

So I know I am about a zillion years late to the blog party but I hope you find my stories, tips, and advice helpful because although I think being single is fabulous it always helps to have someone around you thinks you are as fabulous as you know you are.

I hope to make this a regular feature because first I need to write something that my non-mom friends will find interesting and second, because I'm bossy and I love telling other people what to do with their lives. Wait? Does that make me a smug married?

The Question

So this weekend, I finally got asked the question I have been dreading for 5 months.

I was at a friend's party and I got the "So what do you do?" question. The answer used to be easy "Well I am a director at an ad agency blah, blah, blah" I would rattle off the name of my agency and the clients I worked for, wait for the usual, suitably impressed response and move on. Now the question is much more loaded "What do I do?"

Well I take care of a crazy, uber-active 2 year old, trying to make sure he doesn't turn into a serial killer, or wife abuser. I help my husband in his business, I mean someone has to make money around here.. :P and I am in the midst of launching my own business all while trying to maintain a semi-clean home and make edible dinner creations. How does one fit that into a witty one liner remark at a dinner party?

The answer is you don't or at least I didn't know how to and merely mumbled "Well, you know I am taking some time to take care of Max..." and slunk away back to the bar. What the hell kind of answer was that? Why was I so ashamed of taking this detour off the corporate ladder and do the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life? I feel like I became the exact kind of woman I used to judge. The stereotypical career woman who couldn't hack the big leagues once they became a mom. Well the jokes on me, who would have thunk I would become one of them?

I have been thinking about this all weekend and I still don't have an answer. On the one hand, the Stay at Home mom is revered by society as the solution to all the ills in children but the answer I got in return at the party was a glazed-eyed "Great, great, most important job in the world.." as they scanned the room for someone more interesting-slash-important-slash helpful to their career.

Why is the choice we make never the right one?

Why are working moms made to feel that they are short-changing their children while Stay at Home moms feel like they "wasted" their education and "What kind of example are you setting for your sons & daughters anyways?"

My short answer to this if Max were to ask is that I want to show him that you only get to live once and that you should live with no regrets and based on your rules not somebody else's and that being happy is always more important than being rich.

I think that's enough for now, right? I mean he is only 2. Perhaps we should focus on the difference between a circle and a square for now and save the hard stuff for say 4 years old.

Bad Luck and Bad Decisions

I am from (and still live in) a suburb where not much ever happens. When I was growing up, there were two places you went if you weren't in school, the mall or your friend's houses. The street I grew up on was much the same, families very much like my own with immigrant parents who ruled with a loving but iron fist.

Going to university was expected not optional as was the selection of a major deemed acceptable; i.e. Business/Pre-Med/Pre-Law. Only rarely was another major allowed as long as you were going to be a teacher. These parents often worked shift and/or multiple jobs in order to support their families even if that meant leaving behind educations and high ranking professions from their native countries. Our parents struggled to understand what we meant when we said we just "wanted to have fun and chill out". To our parents, there was no chilling out. Life was about hard work, responsibility and ensuring financial security for your family. I and many of my friends struggled with the expectations of our parents and often felt suffocated by their hopes and dreams for us.

Although we did rebel with alcohol and boys our parents would never approve of, in the end there wasn't that much trouble for us to get into in those days. So, we all survived high school and the psychological scars of that time have faded (for the most part) . We all for the most part are functional, contributing members of society. Even the dreaded teen pregnancy which happened is now a 20 year old man in an ivy league college with all paths leading to medical school much to his grandparents everlasting glee when they tell me every time they see me at the grocery store.

Not many people on that street ever moved, many of my friend's parents still live there but my neighbours of 20 years did move and a family with two pre-teen boys moved in. Their mother confessed plans of finally fixing up the front garden as she showed me pictures of her luxury home in Lebanon which they left as "It had no opportunities for her sons.." and their father worked double shifts driving a taxi so that his wife could raise their sons even though he had been an engineer in his home country.

Since we lived in the land of small suburban lots, I would often see the family enjoying BBQ's and drinking coffee on their decks and would greet them with a smile and a wave before ducking back inside. Their boys loved to play basketball in their front yard and they spent hours out there dutifully stopping their game every time a car passed by. Once when I left my car lights on, they sheepishly knocked on my door to let me know and brought back the keys I had dropped in the snow. They were a happy, close family and I was glad as I left to get married that my mother had such nice neighbours.

After a few years, my mother left the street to move into a condo much better suited to a senior citizen who no longer wanted the responsibility of shoveling driveways and mowing lawns. She sold the house to a nice family & was pleased to leave her neighbours with a suitable replacement for her. A neighbour who would mow their lawn, shovel the sidewalk, and look out for each other.

I have to confess, I never much thought about these neighbours over the years as babies were born, houses were bought and sold, and careers advanced until one day I turned on the local news and caught a newsflash that stated that a home invasion had occurred on my former street and that a 17 year old boy had died and his mother injured. "It couldn't be" I thought as I remembered the shy young boy and his mother who had lived next to us. My phone and Facebook page immediately started buzzing as friends and ex-neighbours messaged me saying that the altercation had happened right next door to where we had lived.

I turned on the news again and now saw that front garden covered with police tape and news reporters talking about a home invasion on "this quiet middle class street". I couldn't help it, I had to drive back and see for myself. Well, I couldn't even get by and was waved away by police. The trees were larger and the houses smaller than I remembered but the feeling of home still remained in my bones as I drove the streets where I had grown up.

Once I got home and turned the news back on, the tone of the newscasters had changed from shock and outrage at a home invasion in the suburbs to hints and whispers of gang activity and vehement denials from friends and teachers. I learned that this young man had died steps from his front door after a group came to his house and told his mother "They just wanted to talk." He told his mother to stay inside and died just a few minutes later.

I can't imagine what this mother feels knowing that if they hadn't answered the door her son might have lived another day, or his brother and father who were at work knowing they weren't there to defend their son & brother. The news posted pictures of this boy wearing ball caps and tank tops with a smirk on his face that all teenage boys have as they stand on the brink of looking like a man but still very much a boy inside. In the end, the camera crews packed up, the police continue on the case but a conviction is looking much less likely. Everyone has moved on to the next story for now and only his family and friends are left to mourn him.

Some will say that it was poor judgement in picking his friends, others say that it was just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. To me, whether it was bad luck or bad decisions that caused 4 people to set out to kill another that night it still shows that no matter how well you think you are parenting, these things can happen anywhere.

As the mother of a son, aunt of nephews and friend to other mothers this terrifies me as to what awaits us as our boys grow up and out of range of our arms to catch before they fall.

I think of this mother often and hope that she can find peace and forgiveness in herself moving forward for the sake of her other son and husband.

RIP Shadi, thank you for reminding parents to talk to their children and really find out what is going on in their lives. I hope your friends use you not as a reason for revenge but rather a reason to succeed and ensure this doesn't happen to others.