Because Every Mother Deserves A Mother's Day

Max's birth story is not something I normally talk about, besides jokingly refrerring to how stunned the nurses were at the sheer size of his head, 99th percentile anyone?

One of the first things I remember after Max was born was how it seemed like an eternity until he took a first breath. My husband assures me it took him less then a few seconds but I just remember the sheer terror I felt that he might not be ok and my husband on the other remembers how scared he was that I might not make it.

For you see, I had the stuff of legend. Max's 99th percentile head combined with a fast labour meant I suffered the mythological 4th degree tear whispered about in prenatal class in hushed tones never to be mentioned again. (FYI, DO NOT google image 4th degree tear. Trust me, you will thank me later)

As the plastic surgeon was hurriedly called and sewed up the remnants of my lady bits. I was blissfully unaware of how dire the situation could have been if not for the amazing Canadian Health Care System. But you see, my mother did, as she was in the room as she watched her 20 year old sister die after giving birth at home to a large baby. She still cries when she talks about it to this day as I give thanks to living ion the 21st century where this doesn't happen right?

WRONG. Did you know that;

• There is one maternal death every 90 seconds today?
• 15% of all pregnancies result in complications during labor and delivery and sometimes are fatal?
• For every woman who dies in childbirth, 20 more suffer from debilitating complications. Which also means that several complications go uncounted and lives are forever impacted?
• We have the knowledge to prevent 90% of all maternal deaths?

While we have the knowledge, what we don't have is the money or do we? For you see, $14.6 billion* was spent on Mother’s Day presents last year in the U.S. alone "celebrating" mother's day.

So how can you help? Every Mother Counts is an organization Christy Turlington started after her own home birth went not as she had hoped or planned. The documentary will air on the Oprah Winfrey Network on May 7^th at 9:30–11 p.m. (ET/PT). The organization works with maternal deaths and supports moms in several countries.

Join the Mom4Moms movement and visit http://www.facebook.com/HaveMomentum to learn how to donate money, time, even your old cell phones can help give a mom access needed health care services that can keep her and her baby alive.

Because brunches just add to our love handles, and flowers just die. Every mother deserves a Mother's day. Let's make sure she is around to celebrate it.

Thank you Princess Di

So this Friday is the Royal "Wedding of the Century" if you have been stuck under a rock and haven't heard.

One of my fondest mom/daughter memories is having my mom wake me up at 5am to watch Lady Diana marry Prince Charles. We snuggled under blankets, drank tea & ate cookies and it was the highlight of my life up to that date most likely due to the fact that she even let me skip school to watch it. It is even more special now that I look back as my mother worked midnights and when she woke up to watch the wedding with me, she hadn't slept a wink yet and had been up for 24 hours straight at that point.

To her credit, my mother stayed up the whole time and answered my million questions, agreed with me that Diana's dress was the most beautiful ever, and that yes I would be really, truly a princess if I married Prince Andrew.

So even though Diana had the fairytale start we all know it didn't end that way.

Anyways Thank You Princess Di, for giving me the best memory and for teaching me that even princesses should look before they leap.

Five Blogs I like to Follow Friday

Today is Friday and if you're Catholic it is actually "Good Friday" although am not sure what is so good about it if you read the Easter story this actually should be a pretty bad day for us according to my nephew but I digress....

In an effort to force myself to actually write more on my blog, I am getting over the whole 'every post has to be deep, important and perfect' and since for many of you you actually have a day off your paying jobs I thought I would borrow from on of my fave things on Twitter which is Follow Friday.

If you want to hear the long story behind Follow Friday click here but for those who aren't familiar with it using the #FollowFriday or #FF hashtag alerts your Twitter followers to other people you think they should follow.

Due to this trend I have found many amazing bloggers over whose blogs I alternately laugh, swoon, & sometimes even cry over. So with no further ado here is my 1st edition of Five Blogs I like to Follow Friday or #BILFF in no particular order as there is no way I could rank these.

• Enjoying The Small Things Kelle Hampton is one of those amazing artists who can truly make you feel like you know her and her family by her posts. Her daughter Nella's birth story is one of those posts you have to read at home alone and when you have an hour or so to fully digest it and have a good sob session.

• Mom Without A Map Sarah is a blogger that I can totally relate to. Our sons are around the same age and I feel like whatever I am going through she seems to write a post at just the right time.

• Fearless Formula Feeder Regardless of where you fall on the Boob/Bottle spectrum, I find her posts refreshing, well researched, and extremely supportive of all mothers. Her Fridays feature a different story every week on each mother's decision/battle/struggle on feeding their baby is powerful and reminds us that behind every mother there's a story to hear.

• How to Survive Life in the Suburbs Love this blog, she can write about issues both big and small and I love that am entertained with both kinds of posts. As a fellow suburban mom, I feel like she gets me and she has great balance between her roles as a mom, wife, and woman. Plus, she is uber-supportive and nice to new bloggers. :)

• Suburban Bliss This blog isn't shy about being honest about motherhood and even the occasional drink on a playdate which is why I love it. She doesn't sugarcoat and stands up for herself.

So there it is, just the first 5 of some of my favourite blogs. What are yours? Stay tuned next Friday for more great blogs.

Happy "Good" Friday everyone!

A-Z About Me

Ok so lately, I have realized that some people are actually reading this blog and seeing as I am a classic self-defeater this has meant that I now have a massive case of writer's block. The mere fact that somebody besides my best friend may read this has paralyzed my normally non-stop mind.

Thankfully, my very first follower http://www.howtosurvivelifeinthesuburbs.com/ posted this on her site and I am shamelessly stealing it. Ok well, am a little ashamed but what the heck, hope she doesn't unfollow me....

A-Z Meme

A. Age: 36. Gah, am closer to 40 than 30...what in the?
B. Bed size: King. Both DH and I need our space.

C. Chore you dislike: Laundry, it never ends

D. Dogs: None now, but did have Duke a beagle terrier mix who was the best dog ever!

E. Essential start to your day: Coffee of course and a snuggle from Max

F. Favorite color: If you asked me, I would say purple but I always wear black
G. Gold or silver: Silver, always

H. Height: 5' 6"
I. Instruments you play(ed): None, unless a one handed version of Jingle Bells counts
J. Job title: Mom/Wife/Daughter/Sister/Friend/Twitter-Lover

K. Kids: One gorgeous, amazing, funny, sweet, drives me crazy son named Max who is 2.

L. Live: In Canada, near the big bad Toronto
M. Mom’s name: Elsa, she hates her name

N. Nicknames: None :P

O. Overnight hospital stays: Only twice once to have my tonsils taken out and the other to push a baby out. Let's just say its not fair you only get ice cream & get put under when two grape size objects are taken out and not when you are expected to push out a 9lbs, 1 oz baby out of your vagina.
P. Pet peeves: Cheapness, Arrogance, & people who cut in line

Q. Quote from a movie: "Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want". - Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You All women should put this on their mirrors

R. Righty or Lefty: Lefty!

S. Siblings: One older brother
T. Time you wake up: Whenever Max does unfotunately
U. Underwear: Always
V. Vegetables you don’t like: None, really but if you asked Max on the other hand.....

W. What makes you run late: Oh everything, Max, Max hiding my phone, Max being hungry, Max being cranky, Max being tired,....notice a theme here?
X. X-rays you’ve had: None, actually.

Y. Yummy food you make: I make an awesome banana bread & seafood linguine

Z. Zoo Animal Favourites: The Lions of course, they are the bad-a**es of the zoo

Ok, so let's open this up since this is all about me, any questions out there? I promise to answer them all.

Happy Thursday everyone!

"Together" is in the Eye of the Beholder

Admit it, when you were pregnant (and even before in my case) you stalked all the mom blogs, pored over every post and obsessed over every close up tiny toes and itsy-bitsy hair bands. Almost all of those moms staring back at you had perfect hair and skinny jeans and waxed poetically about midnight nursing sessions & days spent at coffee shops and baby yoga classes.

To someone struggling with infertility, this life seemed like something I could never achieve so when I was finally pregnant I counted down the days until my baby came and dreamt about a maternity leave (we get 1 year here in Canada, please don't hate me) at Starbucks coffee dates & mommy classes with of course a billion pics documenting the whole thing just like all those blogs I read.

So when I got home from the hospital with a baby that wouldn't nurse and a belly the same size as when I got to the hospital I sort of suspected that this might not go as I had planned. Instead of spending the first two months in newborn adoration I spent it at breastfeeding clinics, weight checks, & in bed sleeping when I could. Even when I emerged on the other side of breastfeeding I was still exhausted, chubby, and in no mood for yoga I still read those same mom blogs obsessively wondering how those moms kept it together when all I seemed to be doing was falling apart.

What I later realized after meeting one of those amazing mommy bloggers that I so admired in real life was that "Together" is in the eye of the beholder. While she is a totally amazing mother she admitted to having help in keeping her house in order with both paid and family help.

She told me that you have to focus on your strengths and get help with your weaknesses. In her case, she is a brilliant mom, writer, photographer, wife, creator, artist & overall human being but she is not a housekeeper and so to keep it all "together" she has help (and doesn't take pics of her bedroom) I was blown away not only by the fact that she wasn't this "perfect" mom I had built up in my head but also with her honesty.

A few weeks after that, I was speaking to another mom who on a play date mentioned to me that she didn't know how I managed to always be so prepared and make so much time for fun with Max. After wiping up the coffee I had spit out at the thought of me being a "together mom" I told her that I in no way had it together and showed her my mis-matched socks, confessed that I hadn't shaved my legs in 2 months and that I was overwhelmed, cranky and overall snippy with everyone and I in no way was anywhere close to amazing.

So to all those moms out there reading blogs and not knowing how some of these moms have it so "together" know that often just out of range of that pic is a messy kitchen, that smiling toddler will 5 minutes dissolve into a whiny cranky mess and we are all just in this "together".